In a Rut? Yes, We Can Get Out!



Words by Liza Benetua

We don’t know what life will bring us. Events that come are unpredictable to us that it can either be positive or negative. Harrowing or joyful, the results are astounding. Life changing.  They can be joyful like for example,winning the jackpot in a lottery. Or finding the person you love suddenly kneeling down in front of you and giving you a ring. However, life can also be harrowing. Devastating. Like waking up and seeing yourself inside a strange room, with beeping sounds coming from the cardiac monitor, and seeing that your hand is connected to an infusion pump and IV fluids. It can also be like going to work, only to find out that you have been fired. What’s the worst that can happen? It’s getting stuck in a rut especially in negative life experiences. We have this tendency to overthink what we have done wrong, when something that comes is not in our favor. We keep replaying the mental video in our heads of the conundrum. ” Why me?”, we usually say in an emphatic way, crying out to the heavens with arms pointing upward.


Recently I watched on Iflix this Filipino romantic comedy called Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo, roughly translated in English as “Why doesn’t Your Crush Have a Crush on You?” . The movie is based on Ramon Bautista’s book Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo? To sum it up, the movie teaches us how to overcome the challenges one faces when we love another.



The person we will love will not be perfect. But how much are we willing to sacrifice, to humble ourselves and say sorry if we’ve screwed up? What will we do if we’ve done so much for that person we love only to find that the feelings are not mutual? What will we do if we’ve made a fool of ourselves because of  love, and find that we have made poor life choices?I am only talking of one scenario here so far on the world’s favorite topic: LOVE. But these experiences can also be found in different situations we face daily like WORK, FRIENDSHIPS, FAMILY, and the like.

We will always find ourselves in a rut no matter what. But the challenge is, how are we going to get ourselves out of this?

1)First, we have to admit that there is a situation we’re currently facing, and that we’re stuck.  Writing it down usually helps you sort your brains out. When we’re stuck in a rut, our brains are full.

2)We also have to accept the feelings that come with the negative life experience.

3) Write steps or ways that can help you get out of your difficult circumstances.

4) Is your mind still confused? Find time to relax and some meditation, or prayer. Clearing your mind helps you to focus on the steps you need to take.

5) Ask yourself, ” What life lesson am I getting when this happened to me?” You can expound on this and put details on the things that you have learned from the challenge.

6) Join support groups or help someone  who is currently going through a difficult situation as you.

I am hoping that you find peace inside your heart as you read this. Yes, you can get out of that rut, and you can move forward. Like what Disney’s Great Mouse Detective hero Basil of Baker Street says to his sidekick Dr. Dawson, “There’s always a chance, doctor, as long as one can think.” Shalom!






Photo of Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo by Ramon Bautista

Photo of Stuck in a Rut by

Photo of movie Bakit Hindi Ka Crush ng Crush Mo

Photo of puppy

Feature image Stuck in a Rut