The Power of Being Single

Photo credit: Marian Jean Benetua, Charm Angeles, Johanes Bangao

Do I like being single? No, I don’t like to be single. That is the honest answer that I can give from the bottom of my heart. I am still at odds trying to reconcile myself with the fact that I might become single for the rest of my life. I am not inviting you to my pity party of singleness. It’s just that I am someone who tries to accept the fact that I  am  living a single life for NOW.  I am trying to embrace the thought that I MAY never get asked out on a date, or that I MAY never find the love of my life.

Notice that I highlighted the word MAY and NOW. Why MAY? It means that there is a possibility that these situations I mentioned may happen to me, or not at all. Why NOW? Well, it means that I have to live in the present and enjoy the life that I live for now being single. Now, not next week, not next year.

In other words, for all the single people here, let us not bemoan the fact that we are single even though we try to resist this state at the back of our minds. I believe that there is power in being single. Why? I believe these are the answers that came to me while I was reflecting why I am still single:

I still need to do things that will help me to be a better person

I am with people right now who need my help.

It is my choice to be single right now

You may have your own personal reasons for still remaining single. Feel free to message me, or share if you want.

Right now, I encourage you to enjoy the process of being single. Get to know yourself a bit more. Find ways to make yourself a better person. Recently, I have been attending workshops to help me be more financially literate, and learn more about blogging and freelancing. I love doing this because I get a chance to meet new people, gain new friends, and learn a thing or two about them.

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Attending a PayPal Freelancers Workshop. Photo op with Yugatech founder Abe Olandres
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Photo op with Jerome Sangalang, event host for the PayPal event
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With co-attendees Axl, Aileen, Johannes and with speakers Abe Olandres, and Fitz Villafuerte
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Attending The Beauty Junkee event of Ms Martha Sta. Barbara

Aside from that, I am currently involved with organizations and groups that help me grow as a person

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Having dinner with my choirmates Charm, Denise, and Micoy
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Family Choir photo op with Kean Cipriano and Chynna Hortaleza at EDSA Shangrila
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With co-catechists enjoying a daytrip in Batangas

 

I don’t know what works for you, but all I can say is :ENJOY BEING SINGLE NOW! Live your life courageously now! Be proactive in finding ways to enjoy these of moments of singlehood now!

 

 

 

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Love Yourself Now

We have things we worry about the way we look and the list goes on and on an on. The complaints are usually with regards to the way we look. Aside from that, there’s also this tendency to compare ourselves to others, and say like:

“Oh she’s taller than me”

” Oh he’s more handsome than I am”

“She/he is popular than I am.”

“I wish I can play music like her.”

“I wish have hips that are narrow.”

“I wish I was slim like her.”

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First of all, I think we need to accept that we have our own strengths and weaknesses. No one is exempted from that. Even those who seem perfect may still have some things to worry about themselves. But that is not the point I am trying to say. What I want to say is for you to love the you who you see now with no conditions. I believe that there is one positive thing you have that others don’t have.

Instead of  belittling yourself, think what good there is inside of you, and love yourself. Accept all that you are, warts and all. It may be big feet, big ears, big nose, too tall, too short, ears that stick out, skin that’s light, skin that’s too dark. You will find people who will love you no matter what.

Some may consider plastic surgery.  I don’t stop you from pursuing that. But make sure that after you get that surgery, you should promise to be kind to yourself. Yes there will be times you’ll feel at a loss or downcast. Just think of that one good thing that you have, and surely you’ll get back on track. Even after you’ve had that surgery, never forget that one good thing that you have in you. Don’t forget to share that love to others. After all, love is not  a noun, it’s a verb. It’s something that you do for others. It’s all something that you do for yourself. Who else will love you if you don’t start to love yourself?

I remember Jack Ma, founder of alibaba.com who failed so many times in his life. Imagine getting rejected from all companies you applied for. What could have happened if he gave and didn’t start to love himself? He could have succumbed and say to himself, “You good for nothing nitwit”. But he didn’t do that. He went on with his life.  That’s what I loved about him, he kept on pursuing his dream because he loved himself. He knows he is a man who has value and worth. Now he’s one of the richest men in the entire world.

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That is my challenge for you: TO FIND THAT ONE POSITIVE THING ABOUT YOU AND LOVE YOURSELF FOR IT. ARE YOU UP FOR IT? Start to love yourself now. Not tomorrow. Not next week but now.  More love to you dear reader!

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Photo Credit:
Feature image photo from oprah.com

Pinterest photo link

Loving Yourself homean.me quote

Loving Yourself quote Pinterest Anxious Behavoir  link

Photo of Jack Ma link

 

 

Learning to Love Y-O-U

 

by Liza Benetua

Learning to love yourself is the hardest thing to do in the world. Why? Our human nature acts as a double edged sword: it can protect you or maim you. Most of the time our human nature hurts us in the process because  we tend to compare ourselves with the person beside us. Our neighbor next door has the greener pasture while our pastures are next to nothingness.  The girl at school wears prettier clothes than you. Your coworker at the office gets noticed more than you do.

How in the world are we going to conquer this tendency to berate ourselves? I remember this scene from a Walt Disney Movie called The Great Mouse Detective. The movie shows the mouse versions of Sherlock Holmes, in the form of mouse detective called Basil. On the other hand, Dr. Watson’s mouse version is a mouse doctor called Dr. Dawson.  It’s when Basil and Dr. Dawson tails  Fidget, a bat who works for archnemesis Ratigan. They thought they have succeeded upon seeing the little mouse girl named Olivia inside a wine bottle. Turns out it’s Fidget in disguise. Basil and Dr. Dawson fell into Ratigan’s snare to trap them. Next scene shows the genius Basil moaning, and belittling himself for the mistake he has done because he had not seen right through Ratigan’s schemes. To cut a long story short, the two have to save themselves because Ratigan has decided to get rid of them. Ratigan’s human counterpart in the Sherlock Holmes movie is Dr. Moriarty.  Here’s a video I found at Youtube to emphasize my point:

(Credit video Youtube by Ems co)

In short, if you have made a poor life choice, or if circumstances are not great for you right now, you should learn how to do the following:

  1. Forgive yourself for the mistake that you have done
  2. You have power over your mistakes. You can overcome them
  3. Learn to love yourself, your flaws, your imperfections. Everything. For examples, if in your family, you have big legs, learn to love them. Tell yourself, ” I have strong legs. I can walk because of them. “
  4. From my previous blog about getting out of the rut, you can get out of anything that you got yourself in trouble to begin with
  5. Love whatever you have right now. Overcoming your circumstances begins by lovingly accepting them, and admitting that they are currently happening in your life. Afterwards, think in your mind that ” This situation I am in is not my permanent situation. Surely, everything will come to pass.”
  6. Make a list of positive traits you have. Right column will list all your strengths. What are you good at? What good qualities do you have?
  7. Make a list of negative traits you have. This will make you aware of your weaknesses. Remember, we can overcome any weakness in our life.