Getting Over the Fear

They say that when you dream about water, it represents one thing: PROBLEM. There may be a problem in a person’s life right now. The severity of the problem can be seen with regards to the type of water that appears in the dream. Is it deep? Is it clean or dirty? For me, I think the water in my dream represents my fear.

This fear is deeply evident in my favorite book called The Velveteen Rabbit. Yes, I can relate with the little bunny here whose only wish is to be loved. He got the love from the most important people in his life. Yet there were some characters in the book that  made the bunny feel unloved.

There will be times that you will meet people who are brimming with negativity to the core. Name that character, they have it. Bad, crass, evil,  rude, and all other awful descriptions you can think of. Initially, the autopilot response is to be afraid. However, if we let their negative behavior affect us, we will be living in fear for the rest of our lives.

 

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For the last years of my life, Fear is that one thing I am having trouble with when I am about to start something new.  Next week, I am planning to look for employment. My options are in the BPO industry. I am considering working as an email support agent in either in Cubao or here in my hometown Paranaque. I am postponing my Nursing career because I have to renew my license, and update my skills. It’s been a long while since I have practiced my Nursing profession. I worked in a hospital for two years.

I have uncertainties in my head because I am in my late 30s. What if they don’t accept me?  Unfortunately, ageism is one concern that every Filipino person faces here in my country. Right now, I am working out my brains looking for ways to earn passive income that even when I retire, I can still earn and do the things that I love.

Why does fear persist? The reasons people have vary, and it’s all dependent upon their past life experiences related to anger, hate, shame or other life situations that others may deem as unworthy such as poverty, mishandled finances, relationship mistakes, and many more to mention. People have different responses to such crises. Some take the bull by the horns. Some choose to walk away from the problem. Some smile on the outside, but inside their being they are crushed.

Regardless of our circumstances, what is the answer to getting over fear? Simple. We have to acknowledge that we have this fear, yet we are going to do something about it.

I respect people’s coping mechanisms. I can’t force them to overcome it immediately especially if the life experience is a traumatic one. It needs time to be processed.

But the first step to dealing with the fear is to face it squarely. For starters, we need to have a life line. We need our support system for this situation. It can be anyone you trust, a family, a friend, a best friend, your spiritual director.  It’s up to you.  We all have a person who is our lifeline, right? I know it’s not easy, but it’s all about taking baby steps.

It’s not too late to start over. Face your fear. I am leaving you with an inspirational song from Clean Bandit’s Stronger, and Jess Glynne’s Hold My Hand, and Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself

 

Credits:

YouTube Clean Bandit video link Stronger 

YouTube Jess Glynne Hold My Hand

YouTube Jess Glynne Don’t Be So Hard on Yourself 

The Velveteen Rabbit book cover  link

 

Foreign Books that Inspired Me to Be Better

I have read so many books in my entire life. My ultimate favorites are biographies, classics, history, and mysteries. We have these Pocket Classic condensed books with titles  like Pride and Prejudice,  Heidi,  The Scarlet Letter, The Hound of the Baskervilles and many more.

These books I will mention are those that help to make me who I am today. I am a self -motivated individual who loves to learn new things. Children of today are lucky to be born into a world where there is internet. Just type a few keywords and voila! You get an answer for your homework. Not unlike during my time, especially highschool. You need to research in a library, only to find that the answer your looking for is not in any of the books there.

There’s this subject called Filipino, and we’re suppose to be doing analysis on the literature such as Ibong Adarna (The Adarna Bird), Florante at Laura (Florante and Laura), Noli Me Tangere and El Filibusterismo. I am frustrated because I am unable to find answers. It would have been different if the internet was available during my time.

These books I will include here have made an impact in my life, and in a way, has shaped who I am today. Here they are in no particular order:

Pocket Classics Books:

Heidi

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Swiss Family Robinson, and Robinson Crusoe

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Hound of the Baskervilles

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Agatha Christie books

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Florence Littauer’s books Personality Plus

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Kokology

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Ken Blanchard’s Leadership and the One Minute Manager

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Madeleine L’Engle’s books

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The Velveteen Rabbit

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Haruki Murakami Norwegian Wood

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The Little Prince

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Next time, I will share books that have improved my way of thinking. Lately I am getting interested in learning how to do business. You can’t rely on your full time job to earn money. I still have a long way to go though. I hope you can share with me your favorite books as well. Have a great day!

 

 

Photo credits:

The Little Prince from wikimedia.org

Heidi photo Pocket Classics link

Robinson Crusoe Pocket Classics link

Hound of the Baskervilles Pocket Classics link

Agatha Christie book Funerals are Fatal link

Toast.net Many Waters photo link

Norwegian Wood Haruki Murakami link

polepositionmarketing.com Personality Plus book link 

cdn3.successories.com Leadership and the One Minute Manager link

The Velveteen Rabbit link

Kokology Amazon link

Cover photo from gentlyhewstonefiles.wordpress.com

Exercise 1: The One Thing You’re Good At

This will be a short post, more of a self reflection that you can do while doing your work, or on your way to the market, or going to the post office to send a post card. Here’s one question that you can try to answer:

I WANT YOU TO THINK OF THAT ONE THING THAT YOU’RE GOOD AT AND WRITE IT DOWN WHEN YOU HAVE THE TIME, BEFORE THE SUN SETS TODAY. 

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This is one thing people forget about themselves, that there is always one thing that they’re good. The society has placed so much emphasis on multi tasking that it can drive people to shreds. Literally. Imagine people walking around looking forlorn, dismal, and torn.  Walking tattered clothes that’s it.

I believe that there’s one thing we’re good at. If you can name one, then that’s the spirit. If you can name more, all the more better. But for those who are confused, simply take baby steps when answering this. Take this question into heart, and savor it. Don’t be in a hurry to answer. If you need to go to a quiet place (if that’s what works for you) to reflect, then go. I hope that you find that one thing you’re good at. Crossing my fingers for you. Have a great day!!

Love Yourself Now

We have things we worry about the way we look and the list goes on and on an on. The complaints are usually with regards to the way we look. Aside from that, there’s also this tendency to compare ourselves to others, and say like:

“Oh she’s taller than me”

” Oh he’s more handsome than I am”

“She/he is popular than I am.”

“I wish I can play music like her.”

“I wish have hips that are narrow.”

“I wish I was slim like her.”

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First of all, I think we need to accept that we have our own strengths and weaknesses. No one is exempted from that. Even those who seem perfect may still have some things to worry about themselves. But that is not the point I am trying to say. What I want to say is for you to love the you who you see now with no conditions. I believe that there is one positive thing you have that others don’t have.

Instead of  belittling yourself, think what good there is inside of you, and love yourself. Accept all that you are, warts and all. It may be big feet, big ears, big nose, too tall, too short, ears that stick out, skin that’s light, skin that’s too dark. You will find people who will love you no matter what.

Some may consider plastic surgery.  I don’t stop you from pursuing that. But make sure that after you get that surgery, you should promise to be kind to yourself. Yes there will be times you’ll feel at a loss or downcast. Just think of that one good thing that you have, and surely you’ll get back on track. Even after you’ve had that surgery, never forget that one good thing that you have in you. Don’t forget to share that love to others. After all, love is not  a noun, it’s a verb. It’s something that you do for others. It’s all something that you do for yourself. Who else will love you if you don’t start to love yourself?

I remember Jack Ma, founder of alibaba.com who failed so many times in his life. Imagine getting rejected from all companies you applied for. What could have happened if he gave and didn’t start to love himself? He could have succumbed and say to himself, “You good for nothing nitwit”. But he didn’t do that. He went on with his life.  That’s what I loved about him, he kept on pursuing his dream because he loved himself. He knows he is a man who has value and worth. Now he’s one of the richest men in the entire world.

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That is my challenge for you: TO FIND THAT ONE POSITIVE THING ABOUT YOU AND LOVE YOURSELF FOR IT. ARE YOU UP FOR IT? Start to love yourself now. Not tomorrow. Not next week but now.  More love to you dear reader!

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Photo Credit:
Feature image photo from oprah.com

Pinterest photo link

Loving Yourself homean.me quote

Loving Yourself quote Pinterest Anxious Behavoir  link

Photo of Jack Ma link

 

 

Get Inspired with “Just Do It”

Just do it are three words of an ad for Nike. Nike is a famous shoe brand. Upon further research, advertising executive Dan Wieden reveals the original source of the famous tagline. It was originally taken from the words of a convicted killer Gary Gilmore. Gary Gilmore was arrested for robbery and murder in 1977. While being prepared for his sentence via firing squad, he uttered the words, “Let’s do this.” Hence, thanks to Dan Wieden, the words have become a famous inspirational for people all over the world.

While the origins of the slogan seem gruesome, for me, the words means to simply to take the first step. We all have plans, dream, and wish lists that we all wanted to fulfill. However if we aren’t going to do anything about these plans, dreams, and wishlists, then all of them remains but a blue print that’s not meant to be followed.

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It simply means to just go ahead with what you’re about to do, and what you’re set to do. No hesitations. No ifs or buts. Take action and just move forward. Some of you might have created a list, or a chart or a graph of things they’re suppose to do or accomplish, that’s just OK. There are apps that can help you accomplish that if you’re someone who’s into notes. But for me personally, I think another way to do this is using the old school notebook. If you’re someone who loves to write, you may opt for those notebooks with lines and margins. However if you’re more into art and drawing, or graphic design, a notebook without lines will be suitable. For those who are into earth friendly brands, you can opt for those notebooks that are recycled. Here in the Philippines, there’s a store called PAPEMELROTI who sells recycled notebooks. You can check out their Facebook page here

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They’re usually colored browned, like the paper being used to buy pan de sal in the bakery. Pan de sal is a type of bread here in the Philippines.

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But what will be best is to see all things in our list slowly being crossed out as something that you’ve done. Some will have crossed out a lot. Some a few. What matters is that you have to get started with what you’re suppose to do. Period. Hope you find the strength to be able to do the things that matter to you and inspire you. Who knows, you might meet someone new along the way as you start to take that first step. Hope you have a great day. Thanks for reading this. Hold your head up high and just do it.

 

 

 

 

Sources:

Nike’s Just Do It Slogan Was Inspired by a Convicted Killer’s Last Words from independent.co.uk

 

 

Photos:

Feature image of Just Do It from adweek.com

Just do It from wikipedia 

Papemelroti notebooks

Pandesal photo from Flickr

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learning to Love Y-O-U

 

by Liza Benetua

Learning to love yourself is the hardest thing to do in the world. Why? Our human nature acts as a double edged sword: it can protect you or maim you. Most of the time our human nature hurts us in the process because  we tend to compare ourselves with the person beside us. Our neighbor next door has the greener pasture while our pastures are next to nothingness.  The girl at school wears prettier clothes than you. Your coworker at the office gets noticed more than you do.

How in the world are we going to conquer this tendency to berate ourselves? I remember this scene from a Walt Disney Movie called The Great Mouse Detective. The movie shows the mouse versions of Sherlock Holmes, in the form of mouse detective called Basil. On the other hand, Dr. Watson’s mouse version is a mouse doctor called Dr. Dawson.  It’s when Basil and Dr. Dawson tails  Fidget, a bat who works for archnemesis Ratigan. They thought they have succeeded upon seeing the little mouse girl named Olivia inside a wine bottle. Turns out it’s Fidget in disguise. Basil and Dr. Dawson fell into Ratigan’s snare to trap them. Next scene shows the genius Basil moaning, and belittling himself for the mistake he has done because he had not seen right through Ratigan’s schemes. To cut a long story short, the two have to save themselves because Ratigan has decided to get rid of them. Ratigan’s human counterpart in the Sherlock Holmes movie is Dr. Moriarty.  Here’s a video I found at Youtube to emphasize my point:

(Credit video Youtube by Ems co)

In short, if you have made a poor life choice, or if circumstances are not great for you right now, you should learn how to do the following:

  1. Forgive yourself for the mistake that you have done
  2. You have power over your mistakes. You can overcome them
  3. Learn to love yourself, your flaws, your imperfections. Everything. For examples, if in your family, you have big legs, learn to love them. Tell yourself, ” I have strong legs. I can walk because of them. “
  4. From my previous blog about getting out of the rut, you can get out of anything that you got yourself in trouble to begin with
  5. Love whatever you have right now. Overcoming your circumstances begins by lovingly accepting them, and admitting that they are currently happening in your life. Afterwards, think in your mind that ” This situation I am in is not my permanent situation. Surely, everything will come to pass.”
  6. Make a list of positive traits you have. Right column will list all your strengths. What are you good at? What good qualities do you have?
  7. Make a list of negative traits you have. This will make you aware of your weaknesses. Remember, we can overcome any weakness in our life.

Heal Your Soul with Philippine Madrigal Singers Songs

Whenever I feel down, I find myself going to Youtube to listen to the songs of my favorite choir called The Philippine Madrigal Singers. Andrea Veneracion, a renowned Philippine National Artist founded this choir in 1963. Mark Anthony Carpio is the choir’s current head honcho. The Philippine Madrigal Singers have traveled around the world just to sing. They sing songs from all genre, from classical to contemporary favorites, and OPM( acronym for Original Pilipino Music). I just love their ethereal voices, that I find myself in tears afterwards.

I also got a chance to see them sing a few years ago at Robinson’s Galleria, and at Philamlife Building in United Nations Avenue, Manila. I was able to purchase their CD album MADZ in LOVE after their mini concert in Robinsons’ Galleria, and got the members to sign the CD. From the Madz in Love album, my favorite songs are What Matters Most, Wind Beneath My Wings, One Hand One Heart, Till There Was You, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes, and Moon River.

Here are my other favorite songs such as:

The Light of a Million Mornings

 

Wind Beneath My Wings

iTunes The Philippine Madrigal Singers 

 

Now That I Have You.

Now that I Have You is a song originally sang by Filipino singer group called The Company. This song is definitely one of my favorites plus another song entitled We Found an Everlasting Love

 

Regardless of the genre, I hope you find joy in music that you’re listening to. Music inspires people to be closer. Music is the language of the soul. Hope you enjoy listening to The Madz as the choir is fondly called. If I get married, if the heavens will it, I will be using some of their songs during reception. Thanks for reading. Cheerio.

 

 

References:

Feature Photo of the Philippine Madrigal Singers by esplanade.com

Youtube Sources of videos:

Now That I Have You

Wind Beneath My Wings

The Light of a Million Mornings